My Wife is My Partner.

Since my handwriting is somewhat messy. I will transcribe what it says above.

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Dear "Transformed Wife,"

"Oh Yummy!" When my wife says that as I hand her a plate of food I just cooked. It is the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced. The sheer happiness in her eyes. I love to cook. Why should I give that up?

I don't need anyone to take care of me. I am a smart, capable, and knowledgeable man. Not only can I cook, but I can clean, wash dishes, do laundry, and make minor household repairs. My wife does not need to mother me. I am fully capable on my own. No one expects me to do chores, except me.

I love my wife as my partner and equal. As Proverbs 31 suggests, I show appreciation for all of her works. I praise her for her work in the church, for her faith, and her boundless determination. She bolsters me through her strength, not by being my servant.

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I don't usually respond to things that I see online in my blog. Especially when others have written perfectly good rebuttals already. However, I do feel I have something to add to this conversation.

I recently became aware of Lori Alexander and her blog "The Transformed Wife." The above letter was my reaction to her regressive ideas. I will be completely honest here. I can't help but think to myself that she has no idea what Christian means. Also, I have scriptures about specks and logs running through my head when I read her "About Me" biography and some of her posts.

I'm a Christian Friend. I was raised as one, and identify as one now that I have returned to Meeting.
My wife is an Adventist. Both my wife and myself have an idea of Christianity that is closer to each others than the politicized version I see when I visit Ms. Alexander's blog. To be frank, I'm not sure I see Christ in Ms. Alexander's version.

As for why I care about men doing chores so much. Well... I've seen so many of these poor older gentlemen over the years. Recent widowers who have no idea what to do. In a department store looking for clothes, not even knowing what size they wear. In a grocery store, completely lost, because they have never had to buy food for themselves before. I can't imagine the feeling of helplessness at the simplest of tasks, that the Mrs. used to take care of for them. Gender equality doesn't just benefit women, it is great for men too.

I Know What Is Going On.

I can't believe how bad it is getting.

Every day there is a new outrage in the news. Something more awful than the day before. 

Committed in our names by the leadership of our country.

I have immigrants in my family. From Asia and Africa.While I myself may be blindingly Caucasian, that is definitely not true for all of my family. I myself have always been told that I have Seneca blood many generations back. I have friends whose families come from every corner of the Earth...

I was a child during the tail end of the Cold War. I was told that we were better than the USSR, because we were more moral. The Russians did things that we would never dream of.

Now, nearly 30 years after the end of the Cold War....

Things have gotten bad enough that my 85 year old grandmother, who I have never discussed politics with in my entire life... Brought up everything that has been happening, and how upsetting it is. Until this week, I didn't even know whether or not Grandma was registered to vote. My mother told me she didn't like to discuss politics decades ago, so I never brought it up.

Well, there is a reason why I have been keeping the Daily Outrages out of my blog. Not because I do not see what is happening. Not because I do not care about our Nation.

I actually am a very strong patriot. In the mold of Susan B. Anthony, Martin Luther King Jr., and Thomas K. Beecher. I do everything I can to make this a better Nation, for everyone who lives here. I even sacrifice several days a year to help keep our democracy running.

However, there is a real problem with fighting the Daily Outrage. Getting upset about every horrible thing that happens. If you do that with no breaks ever. You run serious risk of Empathy Fatigue.

Empathy Fatigue is something that happens to Social Workers, Civil Rights Lawyers, Teachers, and even Police Officers. After a while you see so much awful, your sense of Empathy begins to dull. The human mind can only handle so much before it starts to give up.

In order to avoid Empathy Fatigue I have been keeping my blog focused on how to deepen my Faith. Somewhat as a way to remind myself that I can be a good Quaker and a good person. That Faith is not the property of the Religious Right, that the Religious Left is heir to our traditions as well.

My sense of Justice is tied up with my Faith. After all, I am a Friend, and Quakers have a long history of being Moral Crusaders.

I am a Feminist and a Socialist (please don't confuse that term with Communist). I am against Mass Incarceration, LGBTQ+ discrimination, Racism, and Anti-Immigrant sentiment.

I stand for destroying Income Inequality. Ensuring that all Americans have their needs met. That everyone has Health Care, Food, Affordable Housing, the Education they desire, and the chance for a decent life. Working for a society that works for everyone. Not just some people.

In other words, I stand for things that I see in Quaker tradition, and in the Bible. God belongs to no political party.