Sunday, July 29, 2018

My Wife is My Partner.

Since my handwriting is somewhat messy. I will transcribe what it says above.


Dear "Transformed Wife,"

"Oh Yummy!" When my wife says that as I hand her a plate of food I just cooked. It is the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced. The sheer happiness in her eyes. I love to cook. Why should I give that up?

I don't need anyone to take care of me. I am a smart, capable, and knowledgeable man. Not only can I cook, but I can clean, wash dishes, do laundry, and make minor household repairs. My wife does not need to mother me. I am fully capable on my own. No one expects me to do chores, except me.

I love my wife as my partner and equal. As Proverbs 31 suggests, I show appreciation for all of her works. I praise her for her work in the church, for her faith, and her boundless determination. She bolsters me through her strength, not by being my servant.


I don't usually respond to things that I see online in my blog. Especially when others have written perfectly good rebuttals already. However, I do feel I have something to add to this conversation.

I recently became aware of Lori Alexander and her blog "The Transformed Wife." The above letter was my reaction to her regressive ideas. I will be completely honest here. I can't help but think to myself that she has no idea what Christian means. Also, I have scriptures about specks and logs running through my head when I read her "About Me" biography and some of her posts.

I'm a Christian Friend. I was raised as one, and identify as one now that I have returned to Meeting.
My wife is an Adventist. Both my wife and myself have an idea of Christianity that is closer to each others than the politicized version I see when I visit Ms. Alexander's blog. To be frank, I'm not sure I see Christ in Ms. Alexander's version.

As for why I care about men doing chores so much. Well... I've seen so many of these poor older gentlemen over the years. Recent widowers who have no idea what to do. In a department store looking for clothes, not even knowing what size they wear. In a grocery store, completely lost, because they have never had to buy food for themselves before. I can't imagine the feeling of helplessness at the simplest of tasks, that the Mrs. used to take care of for them. Gender equality doesn't just benefit women, it is great for men too.